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Cefiar
Actually the pull-up in most cases goes to the +VGATE line, which will definitely drive the FETs.
I think we may need to bite the bullet and either switch to P-channel FET's in place of the DMN2075U's, or go for a proper gate driver.
uncle_bob gives me a thought. If we used HCT logic for the buffers and drive them from 5V, they will output 5V and accept either 3.3V or 5V as input. The advantage is that we may be able to drive the big FETs directly, and more importantly drive them with positive logic. That means we can pull the gates to 0V, so if 3V or 5V are not present the FETs will be off.